Periodontist Recall Letter

W Italy (but not together)

The library and the windows are full of rosettes and flags of Italy, a customer enters and stands in front of the field of Italian history, browse some books and then come to me:

"Did you know that you really are history of united Italy broke bales ?

And walk away satisfied with an expression on his face.

is certainly a simple person, just enough for him to be happy, the rest I'm here just for cash.

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Customer: Forget it!

The customer looks at me smugly .

"You books Vadim Zeland?"

"What is gender?

He looks at me with eyes wide open.

"No, look, forget it!"

And walk away.

A wonderful day to you too, sir!

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nonexistent Titles (Part Three)

The desert of tartar (The Desert of the Tartars Dino Buzzati)

Borghezio A small, small (and fat, fat! A Very small Vincenzo Cerami)

Girl of the Ox ('s girlfriend Bebo Carlo Cassola)

stormy Peaks ( Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte)

Ten years of solitude (there were a bit 'more ... we Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez)

Nobody writes in column ( Nobody writes to the Colonel by Gabriel Garcia Marquez) The monster

Gesualdo ( Mastro don Gesualdo, by Giovanni Verga )

The cat and the leopard (the leopard that is? A new cat species? The Leopard Giuseppe Tomasi di Lampedusa)

Stomach pain ( Sartre's Nausea)

The Crow Jonathan Livingston ( Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach)

The world blows ( Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder)

The beggars ( Les Miserables by Victor Hugo)

Love in the Time of Plague (From which we're almost there! Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez )

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The fabulous adventures of Ruby Gaga in search of a new book by Marino Buzzi: Confessions of a good boy

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Manuela Arcuri presents Confessions of a good boy

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Saturday

The smile was petrified in my mouth, I hurt the facial muscles, is no longer a smile, a grin is frightening. Will I have said 300 times "thanks and at least 200" good evening ", I thought at least three times to commit suicide and two to make me explode inside the library. I talked to a lady who then walked away, I said "excuse " and " very kind," I changed the cover of a book with perfect (and when I say perfect I mean perfect) because according to the customer was ruined, I could not convince another customer who was buying the book cover that was not stained but it was done so. I ordered books for parents of college students do binge too busy with his friends to come and buy their own books, and because the parents did not have the faintest idea what they were asking me books, half of them will return Monday to get change the reservation.
I found a bit 'of understanding in the eyes of a sad puppy dog \u200b\u200bwearing a shirt (his look said: "Look at me I have to endure ") and smile half-heartedly to the beat of a client who has suffered because I have not laughed hoarsely showing everyone how it was nice. I heard a girl say that the red book of Jung, in original, was written in Sanskrit, tea drunk three and four coffee, my best friend phoned to tell him that do not go out tonight.
I close my home away from people.

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the correct title

From our correspondent at the checkout, my colleague (because it is a good) psychologist (and nobody can deny!)

"I wish the book Encounters with the guardian angel."
After several research in computer.
"Madam, unfortunately, can not find anything with this title .. but can go upstairs where we have the angels on the field, maybe with my colleague finds him "Mrs.
back with a book called: meets your guardian angel, is visibly altered.
"Here is the book, the title was right ..."
"Good."
"She had not found."
"Mrs. had given me the title was not exactly so, if we do not place your computer in the exact words we can not to see the titles. "
" But I gave that title. "
" Excuse me, I might have misunderstood. "
" However, the book was there and she found him! "My colleague is flying
the book in hand without saying anything.
"Even with the title right!" Mutters
the customer.
"Madam I have already explained what has happened, the important thing is that in the end, the book we found. "
" There is no need to make controversy. "
" I'm not doing her polemic is that he is doing. "
" Ah if he wants to be right .. okay I agree with you .. I only know I said the title right! "

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" Sorry we have not for the benefit of Martha Nussbaum? "
" Yes, sir, we have it. "
" But in German? "
" In German? Not only in Italian. "
" Ah ... because yesterday I went and found him not. "
" There was even yesterday sir, I arrived about two weeks ago. "
" I have not found. "
" But he asked someone? "
" No. "
" However, it is available. "
" But are maximum? "
" No, sir, are not of the highest. "
" Okay, I feel I came yesterday and I did not find, so I bought another book. Tomorrow I can come to change the book I bought with that of Nussbaum? "
The question that springs to mind is, but if you care about Nussbaum, why did you buy another book that does not interest you?

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The Phone The dedication

"Excuse me I have to give a book to a friend. What do you think I can write in the dedication? With love not because we say to women ..."
No need to comment further, right?

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Being a bookseller is

Today, instead of typing the title: General Physics , I wrote on the computer: general Fica (strange because I never, I repeat, NEVER used that word), then, because the system does not gave me titles available, I reread what I wrote and I burst out laughing, all in front of unsuspecting customers. I laughed for almost five minutes without being able to stop.
not for me, I swear, it is not me. I'm
evil. Very bad.

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Freudian slip:

can not reply to the customer who claims that the girls went to bed with Berlusconi were consenting that:
1) This is not the point
2) Some, says the prosecution, were minors
3) I would be administered by a person and a parliament to be clear and not a bunch of people who do not know the true meaning of words such as dignity and respect for institutions and the public good.
4) What do you expect from me? Who speaks freely, while policy work? Esponimi your ideas after I stamped out the card and then see how much you still want to return to the library where I work!

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books dirritto

To read as it is written
"Buonciorno ..."
"Hello."
"I feel that we have them de dirritto the pound?"
"Sure, I'm the last room, on this side of the wall right. "
" Ah ... but it Buò we will have the pound? "
" Yes sir ... accompany her to the field. "
" Go Buò speciffico an argument but I try. "
" Tell me ... "
" Eh, what you have even a few pounds on the circumcision of incapacity? "
Treasury, more a book of law, you need a book of surgery!

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The card

"Good morning, want to make our card? "
" Sure. "
" This is the form to be filled. "
" What information should I bring? "
" Name ... the usual things ... "
" No look I do not let my name and my surname. "
" I'm sorry, then we must have the card. "
" Why? "
" This is a nominal membership card, sir. "
" And we can not just give it a name? "
"What?"
"the card, if it is rated, I give a name so you know it's mine."
Sure, we give the name Fido so when we answered the call.

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Shares disturbing

control room in the philosophy that everything is ok, do a tour, I look at the books, the system drains, collect books abandoned around. Arrive at the field of religion and I see that what we call "gondola" (a large piece of furniture that serves as a display) all the texts as "critical" (including those of Don Gallo) were shot, some even hidden behind books Benedict XVI and Socci.
Now, I wonder, but in a beautiful sunny Sunday, who takes the trouble to go in the field of religion to remove or render invisible the titles do not line up at the thought of the Vatican?
Hopefully the next time this person enters the library does not bring a bomb ...

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Dialogue Sunday

Dialogue between three girls in front of the book Moccia:
"Have you seen the film with that of Raoul Bova bono?"
" The most that Bartlett is a true Cattle! "
" I'd marry me in a way. "
" I too. "
" This is not happen every day to meet a man like that. "
" No, no ... "
"Then if you marry me let alone ..."
"But you say no, you are my best friends, you will always be in my cu ..."
Heart malicious, they understood?

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Teachers subversive literary

A lady asked me the book of rules Gherardo Colombo, then looked at me worried.
"What book?" I mean, who is this Colombo? "
"Colombo is a former magistrate, ma'am."
"I have to buy for my son, you know you think it is normal for a teacher of Italian has given to read such a book to the children of the second high school?"
Here we go, is the invasion of politicized professors who teach the kids things contrary to the wishes of the family.

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excitations

days ago a colleague of mine has caught a man masturbating while in library.
was supposed to be an intellectual.
I was doing in front of the field of science.

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Luke had a pigeon. He was gay. The pigeon, not Luca. The capitalist

"Hello, I would like the book of that singer who was gay and then went to Lourdes and it healed and did a song that won in San Remo."
"Povia?"
"Ah yes that sang Children do oh! "
" A masterpiece. "
" Sorry? "
" Nothing. However, he did not win Sanremo, had come second if I remember correctly. "
" Maybe. He knew what book is it? "
" There is Povia, ma'am. "
" How? "I
more loudly as if he were deaf:
"There is Povia."
"I'm not deaf."
"To my knowledge, Povia ever wrote a book."
"But it was the same as I would have sung beak? "
" Glad him. "
" But he did not want to mica, it was a song about pigeons. "
Mrs. laughs.
"She's cute, you know? I read the article on Today. "
" However, Madam, the book is not Povia is another and is not out yet. "
" He says he was cured by going to Lourdes. "
" Medjugorje. "
" How?
"I went to Lourdes went to Medjugorje."
"But he was gay, right?"
But who? Luke Povia or pigeons?

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"Excuse me where to find the capital of Marx?"
"The capitalist does not know ... capital is in philosophy. "
" picky, eh? "
Puntigliosissimo!

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interference. The key

Dialogue Phone:
"Hello, library (complaint) I help you?"
"Good morning, also have reservations?"
"Yes Lord, but must come in person."
"But if I give the code you can? "
"We demand a deposit for reservations, ma'am."
"And when you ask for advance payments to book blood tests?"
"Analysis of blood?"
"Yes"
"No ma'am, excuse me, are not the CUP, we are a library. "
" But how? I did the right number. "
" or gave a wrong number or dial it was wrong. "
" No, no fair. "
" Madam we are a library, I assure you. "
" Mmmmm ... c 'is something strange ... maybe interference ... "Well ... have been
Martians ...

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.

"Hello, I'm looking for a book on psychology."
"Yes, well tell me the title."
"The key ."
"Yes, Ma'am is a book that we keep in new age on the first floor. "
She looks at me indignantly.
"New Age?"
"Yes"
"But you have to this book is that true?"
"Sure."
"And maybe I will say that in new age we also hold the secret ."
"Yes."
"I am not surprised that things in this country go so bad! She has read it? "
" No ma'am. "
" Ah, here ... I would also feel hot soup for the soul . "
" Yes, it is always the first floor. "
" I imagined. Should read it, you know? It is very good. "
In fact, I'm cool with a hot broth, there would be just fine.
Marino Buzzi

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Showcases dangerous

Enter a gentleman rather than angry.
" You know that you could take a complaint? "
" Excuse me? "
" For the book you have in the window. "
" What book? "
" Swastika Green (Walter Peruzzi, Gianluca Pacifico, Editori Riuniti) "
"Pardon me, I do not understand."
"Calderoli denounced the publisher for misuse of his image, then you have to withdraw the book."
"I'm sorry that image is a public image output in all the papers, do not we Communications have come to the withdrawal of the book. If there are any responsibility, however, are at most of the publishing house. "
him out:
" You are the Masons of shit! "
Thanks for visiting us sir, come back soon!

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Federica .... hand friend.

"Hello, I try Federica."
"I'm sorry .... Federica no longer working with us. "
incredulous look.
"No, sorry, I'm looking the other hand ... Federica friend ...."
Now it is my eyes in disbelief.
"Sorry?"
"I'm looking for the book Morozzi, Federica Praise for The hand of friendship"
"Ah ... this to me I'm lost ..."
"Well, you see that you're not a fan of masturbation ..."
You apparently, given the deep grooves under the eyes, yes.

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The art of going down the stairs

Among the things I love the library there are stairs.
down, with stacks of books in his hands, avoiding customers who you ask, "may require" without giving any alternative but to get a hernia come from the effort, trying not to stumble in dogs or children, has become a real art. Among the memorable descents
include: Descent to
Lady Gaga: I am with a pile of GLBT-themed books in my hands I go out dancing Poker face.
Descent "Model Number 5, Judith!" Fashion show with books on their heads to maintain posture.
Descent: "But who made me do I use the elevator," very heavy books.
Descent: "Booksellers who hate customers," a wall of young boys and girls who have no intention to leave the room to pass.
Descent to Ross O'Hara, hand on forehead, eyes hurt, scream American actress of the 30s and falling with style. Descent to
Tania Cagnotto, fall with a double spin, reverse spin in the final with pike.
Marino Buzzi

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Gelmini

"Excuse me, is released an updated text on school reform made by Gelmini?"
"No, but came out the stories written by her."
More or less the same thing.
Marino Buzzi